You really coming over, don't trick.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America