well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup