your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
