oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize