She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
