As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
