Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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