it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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