he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm at about main and main street
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
