Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
