Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize