i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
