i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
