***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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