he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
