I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
