He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
