My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
