Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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