love makes seman taste better
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
