So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
