"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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