Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
