i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
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You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
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All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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