her vagine was all disorganized.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
