toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
