Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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