just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
