I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
