i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you mean i was at the winter classic?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
