dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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