No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
