so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
