i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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