we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
