she was so not down for the gang bang
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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