Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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