But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sorry my hands just texted you
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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