why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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