There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
