you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
no you cant smoke seaweed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
