it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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