What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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