did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
