It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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