So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
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When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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