you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
