Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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