Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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