The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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