East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize