i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
