ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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