Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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