Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
