On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
