why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
