yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm at about main and main street
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
