So drunk, too bad you don't want this
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
