Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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