Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
